


let's take our clothes off

by Sway



Category: Broadchurch, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fisting, BDSM, Boot Worship, Breathplay, Breeding, Casting Couch, Creampie, Crossdressing, Dacryphilia, Daddy Kink, Deepthroating, Dom/sub, Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration in One Hole, Exhibitionism, Face-Sitting, Forced Orgasm, Formalwear, Frottage, Human Furniture, Inflation, Intercrural Sex, Kinktober 2020, Knotting, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Merlin Has a Large Cock, Mirror Sex, Multi, Omorashi, Overstimulation, Pegging, Prostitution, Public Sex, Puppy Play, Role Reversal, Sensory Deprivation, Sex Toys, Spanking, Stripping, Telepathic Bond, Temperature Play, Threesome - M/M/M, Verbal Humiliation, ruined orgasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 16,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/pseuds/Sway
Summary: I wonder what it'll sound like when you cumLet's see if blondes or brunettes are more fundo not disturb - Halesstormkinky drabbles - multifandom - multiship - 500 words each - tagged as we go - fandom & kink in the chapter titles
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Harry Hart | Galahad/Percival, Merlin/Percival (Kingsman), Nanny Ashtoreth/Aziraphale (Good Omens), Percival/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Percival/Merlin/Eggsy
Comments: 143
Kudos: 126





	1. Day 1 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - Omorashi

**Author's Note:**

> What is says on the tin.... we'll have some fun with this year's kinktober list.
> 
> I'll tag these as I work thought them.  
> Fandom, ship and kink will be in the chapter title.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - Omorashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my verse [the wicked](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906816)

“Please, Herr… I need…”

“Hush, boy… I don’t want to hear from you,” Percival snarls as he pushes into him. He has Eggsy on his back, folded in half with his hands in the back of his knees to hold Eggsy’s legs up until he bottoms out. “There you are… that’s better, isn’t it?” It’s almost a taunt. 

“No,” Eggsy mewls, shaking his head. “Please….”

Percival places a hand on Eggsy belly just below the navel. He’s not pushing down but the weight of his hand is enough to make Eggsy groan. “You’re so full, aren’t you?”

Eggsy only hrmphs in response.

“Words, Eggsy. I’ve trained you better.”

“So full, Herr. Please… I need to… I need to piss,” Eggsy presses through his teeth, trying everything in his power to avoid the inevitable. 

“You won’t, Eggsy. If you piss on me, there’ll be consequences.” As if his point needs proving, Percival lands a slap on Eggsy’s thigh. 

“Herr, please,” he whines. “Let me go. I’ll… I’ll do anything if you’ll let me go…” He hates this. He hates to beg. And he hates the reason he begs. 

“You’re already doing exactly what I want.” Percival grins deviously at him. Then he rocks forward.

Eggsy all but bellows as the tip of his master’s cock grazes his filled bladder, making him even more aware of it than he already is.

“That’s it. That’s what I want to hear.” Percival thrusts into him again, his hips pistoning forward.

“Please, I can’t…” Eggsy’s words are cut off by another thrust that makes the air leave his lungs. “Please, Herr, please…”

He doesn’t get mercy. The only thing he gets is an amused chuckle from Percival. His master has him right where he wants him, needy and helpless and in just the right amount of pain.

Despite Eggsy’s pleas, Percival starts fucking into him now, picking a rhythm that’ll get him off soon and driving Eggsy mad with the need to release himself. He’s ready to burst, to just let go and let the consequences be damned. His own cock betrays him by being ridiculously hard. And if that’s not enough Percival pushes down on him ever so slightly, drawing another helpless cry. 

“I can feel you, boy. How full you are. You’re so ready to piss yourself in front of me. To wet yourself like a little boy.” It’s definitely a taunt now. 

“Please, Herr... “ Eggsy voice cracks as he faces utter destruction.

It’s the tears that pull Percival over the edge. It always is. He pumps his climax mercilessly into Eggsy.

Eggsy’s eyes widen in horror when he feels the tiniest dribble of piss leaking from his cock. He can’t. He mustn’t. 

Percival eyes him in something close to dismay as he pulls out. “Alright then… if you want to piss yourself with a cock up your arse, there’s a dildo waiting in the shower for you.” He watches in amusement as Eggsy scrambles into the ensuite. “And leave the door open.”


	2. Day 2 - Kingsman - Percival/Harry - human furniture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kingsman - Percival/Harry - human furniture

“You might want to keep your back straight, Harry. This is quite the expensive whisky you’re balancing there.”

Harry blinks. Once for yes. He can’t answer. For one, he’s told not to. And two, it’s for the fairly large dildo gag in his mouth that’s pressing against the back of his throat.

“That’s a good slave.” Percival threads his fingers through Harry’s hair. “Are you quite comfortable?”

Another blink. It’s a bit of a lie and they both know it. 

Harry is kneeling by his husband’s favorite armchair. The only comfort he has is a pillow for his knees. The rest of him is strapped up into a leather body bag. Only his head and his cock are sticking out of the contrapment. Around his neck he wears a vendor’s tray that’s resting on his chest. It has a glass of Percival’s most expensive whisky on it.

“You’re a beautiful side table, my darling.” Percival presses a kiss against Harry’s forehead. Then he settles into his armchair and picks up the evening paper. “Now be good and keep still while I read. If you spill anything…” He lets the words hang in the air. 

Harry knows full well what happens if he does spill the drink. His hole twitches at the thought, at the memory of the pain he’d endured, and he groans.

“And be quiet,” Percival doesn’t snap. “Furniture doesn’t make a sound.”

Harry breaths through his nose. It doesn’t take him long to zone out. Their game is well-practiced and he knows how to relax into it.

Which is why he almost bolts when the very tip of Percival’s shoe touches his balls. It’s a small touch but enough to draw Harry’s attention back to the now.

“Ah, you’re still with me. Good,” Percival drawls. He reaches for the glass and takes a slow swig. As he leans in to place it on the tray again, he wraps his fingers around Harry’s cock. “And this is, too?”

Harry gets hard almost immediately. His body is well trained to be of use.

“Do you like this, slave?”

One blink.

“Do you want me to continue?”

Two blinks. No.

“That’s too bad. Because I really feel like bringing you off right now. Will you come?”

A resigned blink. Having to come now means Harry won’t get off when he fucks his husband later.

“Good slave. Just let me do this for you.” Percival gives him a slow stroke and Harry can’t help but rock into it. The glass on his tray wobbles precariously. “If you spill this, Harry…”

Percival’s pace is relentless. It’s hard and quick and it makes Harry’s back hurt because he has to use all of his muscles to not make a move. A few times the whisky threatens to slip over the rim of the glass but Harry manages to steady himself just in time.

He moans into the gag as Percival grabs him by the ball, squeezing down. “Are you ready to come, slave?”

Blink.


	3. Day 3 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy/Merlin - fisting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy/Merlin - fisting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place in my [teachers, whores & chambermaids](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561021) verse

“That’s it, Harry. You’re almost there. You’re almost in.” Merlin drops another generous dollop of gooey lube onto Harry’s arms, then spreads it all the way to where four and a half of his fingers are buried in Eggsy’s arse. When Merlin’s fingers touch the stretched rim of Eggsy’s hole, the young man whimpers in delight. 

That’s the only sound Eggsy has made in the last hour mixed with incoherent mumbles and wordless moans. 

They have him on his stomach, his body propped up on a pile of pillows to elevate his arse.

“Make sure your thumb is curled all the way into your palm. Just like so,” Merlin instructs, demonstrating it with his own hand.

“Yes, Master,” Harry replies, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“You’re doing so good. Both of you.” Merlin sits behind Harry again. He has one hand around Harry’s elbow to gently guide his motions, the other gently cups Harry’s rock hard cock. He doesn’t stroke him, just holds him almost possessively. “Just keep pushing, Harry. Feel Eggsy open up to you. Feel him relax around you. How your hand is going to slide into him.”

The way Merlin speaks is almost hypnotic. He has talked to them both for a long time beforehand, and he’s talking them through it every step of the way now. Through Harry’s slow blowjob to relax Eggsy, through their first round of stretching with a fairly large dildo, through a quick and dirty handjob. And now through Harry ever so painstakingly slowly pushing his entire hand up his husband’s arse.

Eggsy is a mess in front of them. His body is glistening with sweat and lube and come. He’s as pliant as a ragdoll and only manages to respond in guttural grunts. His cock hangs limp between his thighs, used and spent. This is not about that anymore.

“Just one more push, Harry. Don’t let up now. One more…” Merlin puts a little more weight behind his touch to Harry’s arm.

All three of them gasp in unison when Harry’s fist disappears into Eggsy’s hole.

“There you are,” Merlin says almost cheerfully. “Eggsy?”

Eggsy groans. “So… fucking… full….”

“Harry?” Merlin checks.

“It’s… so tight.” Harry stares in fascination at where Eggsy’s sphincter is stretched taut around his wrist. “It’s incredible, Master.”

“You both are.” Merlin runs a hand along Harry’s back. “I’m proud of you, Harry. You’d be rich if you did this for my agency.” He places a kiss to Harry’s shoulder that makes the other man blush.

“Thank you, Master.”

“And Eggsy… taking it like that. I’ve never seen this happen on the first try. You’re amazing.”

Eggsy mumbles something that could have been a “You’ve prepped me well.”

“Is this…,” Harry starts but then falls quiet.

“Is this what, Harry?” Merlin asks.

“What it feels like when you fuck him, Master?”

Merlin smiles. “Believe me, what you’re doing for him now… it’s so much better.”

“Thank you, Master.” 

“Now then… let’s fuck your husband with your fist.”


	4. Day 4 - Kingsman - Harry/Merlin - breathplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Kingsman - Harry/Merlin - breathplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should you do this at home, please be careful!
> 
> The wonderful zebraljb let me play in her [Evil Angel](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525892) sandbox...

The tie is securely tugged into Harry's closed fist. It'll fall easily should Harry need to let go.

“Are you quite comfortable, Harry?” Merlin asks.

It's a redundant question because Harry already has that blissed expression on his face that he always gets when he rides Merlin. He rotates his hips, driving himself further down on Merlin's cock. “Best seat in the whole house.”

Merlin snorts. “You're ridiculous. I should put you over my knee instead.”

“Later, husband.” With his free hand, Harry reaches for Merlin's wrist. He presses a brief kiss to his palm before guiding his hand to the base of his neck.

“Are you sure?” 

“I am. How many times do I have to tell you that I want it?”

“Always one more time than I ask.” Merlin runs a finger through the dip of Harry's throat. “You know the amount of paperwork I'd have to fill out if I killed you. Especially if my prick is up your arse while you croak. You can't wish that on me.”

“Do it, Hamish.”

Merlin reaches up with his other hand as well, placing his fingers along Harry's jaw. “Hand on your cock, Harry. Stroke yourself for me.”

Harry closes his eyes. His first stroke is slow, from the very tip of his cock down to the base. A thick drop of precome rolls from the head. He picks it up with the second stroke, spreading it down his shaft.

That's when Merlin's grip tightens, drawing a moan from Harry around a little smile.

“You like that, don't you? My hands on your throat.” Merlin asks, his tone cool and calculated. “And my cock up your tight arse.”

Harry quickens his pace, fisting his cock in a hard rhythm. 

“What would our sweet Eggsy say if he saw you like this? If he was here with us instead of puppy sitting at the kennels? Would he enjoy seeing his Sir at the complete mercy of his Master?”

With every word, Merlin closes his hands around Harry’s throat, cutting off his air. Harry's mouth falls open but no words come out. Just as no breath enters him. 

“You're getting close, aren't you? Can you get off before you pass out, Harry?”

Harry gasps helplessly, letting his hand fly over his cock as fast as he can. 

“You're so bloody beautiful, Harry. Your life in my hands. I can feel your heartbeat in my fingertips.”

Harry works his cock frantically, his rhythm getting sloppy as he approaches his climax. 

“That's it. Bring yourself off. You're almost there. So close…”

The first splat of come lands on Merlin’s stomach. Harry makes a pathetic croaking sound. 

“Yes, Harry. Come… come for me.”

Harry comes hard. Over and over does he fist his cock, jerking in Merlin’s lap as the orgasm rips through his oxygen deprived body. His face is as red as his prick, his mouth opens and closes uselessly.

Merlin smiles triumphantly.

Harry comes a second time when Merlin finally lets go.


	5. Day 5 - Good Omens - Aziraphale/Nanny Ashtoreth - boot worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Good Omens - Aziraphale/Nanny Ashtoreth - boot worship

Nanny Ashtoreth all but towers over him from where she’s perched on his workbench. She has her legs crossed and her skirts hiked up to her knee, exposing the gleaming leather of her boots. They reach halfway up her calf, the tip is obnoxiously pointy (of course it is) and capped in snakeskin where normally there’d be elaborate broguing, and the heel curves precariously inward and shouldn’t even support her weight.

“They are… exquisite, my dear.” Aziraphale breaths. He had dropped his disguise as Brother Francis for everything but the billowy tan coat. And he’s glad for it because whatever effort he’s conjured up along with said disguise is taking quite an interest in the Nanny’s boots. 

“Aren’t they just,” she drawls, her voice high and silky. “Do you want to touch them?”

“May I?” 

She does a little kick, beckoning.

Fingers light as feathers, Aziraphale reaches out to touch the offered shoe. The leather is smooth and warm. It’s so thin that it wraps perfectly around Nanny’s foot, showing off the curve of her ankle, the dip and swell of her calf. 

Before he knows what he’s doing, Aziraphale leans in and brushes his cheek along her instep. He jerks back as if burned and stares at her in surprised horror.

“Well, well…,” she sing-songs. “I didn’t take for one to be interested in this particular fetish.”

“I most certainly am not,” Aziraphale says haughtily but the heaviness of his voice betrays him. 

“Is that so? If I looked closely, I wouldn’t…” She hooks her booted toe into a fold in his garment and tugs it up just so before he can slap her foot away. 

Aziraphale makes a point of not looking at her. “You most certainly wouldn’t.”

She laughs at that and it sounds like honeyed bells. “Thought so.” Then she sobers and her tone becomes cool and demanding. “Lick them.”

Aziraphale stares, fingers twitching. “May I?” he hears himself say.

Nanny Asthoreth nods. 

The angel lets out a moan he usually preserves for the finest caviar when his mouth closes around the very tip of her boot. His tongue traces the carefully crafted seem, feeling out every stitch along the edge. When he licks over the snake-skin leather, a quiver rolls through his body. The taste is exquisite, salty and smokey, and the feel of it…

“Oh… oh my,” he groans, diving further along the arch. He hesitates briefly as he reaches the slender heel.

“You may suck it, angel,” Nanny drawls.

“Yes, Ma’am.” 

Before either of them can comment on the words, Aziraphale is running his tongue along the heel before sucking it into his mouth. With one hand he lifts her foot to have a better angle, with the other he presses between his legs where he feels very warm and needy.

“That’s a good angel. Take it all in.”

Aziraphale moans around the heel and does suck it even deeper. 

He’s most certainly not thinking about where this would also feel particularly interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [these](https://www.ssense.com/en-us/women/product/thom-browne/black-brogued-wing-tip-chelsea-boots/5334011?clickref=1100lbBkwcne&utm_source=PH_1101l510&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_content=0&utm_term=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.shopstyle.com%2F&utm_campaign=) are the boots I image for Nanny.


	6. Day 6 - Kingsman - Merlin/Percival - sensory deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6 - Kingsman - Merlin/Percival - sensory deprivation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I consider this part of my [savour](https://archiveofourown.org/series/785268) verse.
> 
> There is a much longer installment planned with this pairing, set after the first movie, which might feature a scene like this one without the explicit sexual component. Read this drabble as a potential alternative version.

“Your safeword?”

“Betamax.”

“Good. Use it if you must. Otherwise I will not stop until I believe you’ve had enough. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. Lay down now so we can begin.”

Merlin sinks back onto the comfortable mattress, shifting until the pillow feels right underneath his head. The rest of him is stuck in a latex body suit that sits more than snug on his skin, the multiple shackles render him almost completely immobile. One last time he looks up at the dark ceiling before Percival pulls the blindfold over his eyes. 

“How does that feel?”

“Good.”

“I will take your ears next. You won’t be completely deaf but everything will sound muffled and far away,” Percival says, sounding cool and clinical. 

“I understand.”

Merlin listens to him pick up the set of noise-cancelling headphones. When they go over his ears, Merlin sucks in a breath. It’s a weird sensation, being shut off from the world like that. He can’t move, can’t see, can’t properly hear. All he’s left with is his voice, his sense of smell, and what little movement he can make out around him.

It’s exactly what he’s here for. To not feel. To not be.

Merlin’s hips jerk up when the zipper at his crotch is pulled open. With coarse motions, Percival reaches inside and for Merlin’s cock. He’s already half hard, most of it anticipation. He plumps fully when Percival begins to stroke him.

The next thing Merlin feels is a cock ring that’s fastened tightly around the base of his prick.

Then the vibrations… 

Merlin can’t hear them but he sure can feel them. First, as Percival picks up the wand. Then, when he presses the tip against the underside of Merlin’s balls.

He feels himself utter a curse, straining against his shackles. It’s no use. No escape. 

Percival begins to take him apart. Slowly. Deliberately. Agonizingly. 

The first orgasm still feels nice, long and warm and satisfying.

And the pain begins. The wand still presses against the tip of Merlin’s cock, regardless of how sensitive it is. It hurts. Bad.

The second orgasm isn’t as nice. 

The third is pure agony because Percival ruins it just as he draws Merlin over the edge. 

After that… Merlin isn’t sure what happens after that. All he knows is the helpless pain he’s in, his body pulled in his direction and that, forced to come over and over again even if he has nothing more to give. His muscles are sore from the pointless struggles against his bindings. His throat feels hoarse from screaming, from begging for a mercy he doesn’t get. Doesn’t deserve.

At last, the vibrations stop. It’s like fresh air to Merlin’s lungs. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes until he feels Percival’s heavy hand on his shoulders. Then the headphones go and sound flushes Merlin’s brain again. 

Percival stops him from speaking with a soft touch to his lips. “Are you ready now?”

That’s when Merlin starts to cry.


	7. Day 7 - Kingsman - Harry/Percival - breeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7 - Kingsman - Harry/Percival - breeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This features A/B/O dynamics, breeding and knotting...  
> It's also my first A/B/O so... that's a lot.
> 
> written for the lovely zebraljb

“I don’t know… how he does it….” Harry’s words come in spurts as if triggered by each of Percival’s thrusts. “How… can he… not… want to… mate?”

Percival stops mid-fuck. “Can we not talk about Merlin while we have sex?”

“Forgive me, my love.” Harry tries to look over his shoulder but being already pushed on his forearms with his face squished against the mattress makes it difficult. 

“Don’t misunderstand me. That you come back aroused after you collect his Contribution is only natural. And you know I love to meet your needs. But I don’t need to talk about Merlin while I do.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry says in a small voice. 

“Don’t be. Just let me fuck you properly without another word about him.” Percival pushes forward, driving Harry even deeper into their bedding.

Harry groans happily. “Yes, please.” He arches his back, almost purring cat-like when Percival starts to pound him. 

Harry’s slick hole takes the alpha’s cock easily even if he doesn’t get as wet as he used to. Shifting his position, he spreads his knees further. Then he worms one arm underneath his body to give his own cock a quick stroke just to take the edge off. 

“Do that again,” Percival all but growls.

Harry does as he’s told. As always. Well, at least in bed. 

“You tighten so beautifully around me. So hot and tight for me.”

“Breed me,” Harry breaths against the pillow.

“Harry…” Percival’s voice sounds a bit hollow all of a sudden.

“Pretend…. Please…”

Percival presses a hand to the small of his back, forcing him into a deeper arch. Harry groans; because his flexibility isn’t what it used to be and because Percival trusts even harder into him, hitting Harry’s prostate just right.

“Take me,” Percival rasps, leaning over Harry to properly mount him. “Getting close…”

Harry feels himself stretch around Percival’s growing knot. He takes inane pride in still being able to make his Mate knot him evén if he’s not an omega anymore. 

Becoming pliant beneath the alpha, Harry keeps stroking himself, bringing himself closer to the edge as well. “Please…. Please, love…give it to me....”

Percival comes with a guttural growl that rings in Harry’s ear. He pushes even deeper, their bodies locking together as he begins to spend himself in thick, hot spurts. He almost collapses over Harry when he’s done.

Harry isn’t even sure when he himself finishes. He always loses track a bit when Percival fucks him like this.

It takes a few minutes until Percival is able to pull out again. Then he leans over Harry to press a kiss to the base of his neck where Harry carries the pale tattoo that marks their Bond.

“Thank you, my love,” Harry smiles dopely when they fall side by side onto the mattress. “I really don’t understand how anyone can pass up getting fucked like this.”

Percival slaps him on the chest. “That’s it. Next time, we’re sending Bors to collect from Merlin.”


	8. Day 8 - Kingsman - Eggsy & Kingsman "agents" - casting couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8 - Kingsman - Eggsy & Kingsman "agents" - casting couch

“So, tell us then, Mr… Unwin… why do you want to come work with us?”

Eggsy swallows and stares at the four men in front of him. “Well, I… I know your... product… fairly well, I’d say. Always high quality. None of that trashy amateure stuff, so… thought I’d give it a go.”

“Very well,” says the man named Percival. “And why do you think we should work with you? As per your CV you have no prior experience in the field.”

“I… I have done some… work… online. Nothing fancy like yours but… it was… well received.”

“I have looked at your work, Mr Unwin,” the man at the end of the table says. He goes by Arthur and is the boss of the company. He’s also a well-muscled silver fox Eggsy can hardly take his eyes off of. “I liked what I saw.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Eggsy smiles sheepishly.

Arthur nods at Percival and makes a vague gesture with his hand. 

“Mr Unwin, please stand up.”

Eggsy does, clamping his hand behind his back. 

“Turn around, please. Slowly,” Percival orders.

Eggsy turns on the spot. He has dressed well for today. The tightest jeans in his closet and a polo that stretches over his chest. For once, he’s even forgone the snapback. 

“Thank you. You can undress now. There’s no need for a show.”

“What? Eggsy gapes. 

“We do need to see you naked, Mr Unwin. Most of your work will be done in the buff, so you shouldn’t be too shy.” Percival doesn’t smile.

With trembling hands, Eggsy pops the buttons of his shirt and pulls it over his head. Then he kicks off his trainers and shimmies out of his jeans. The room suddenly feels very cold.

“Everything, Mr Unwin. Apart from the socks. We do have a rather enthusiastic clientele for that.”

Eggsy swallows, for the first time regretting his application. Then he strips out of his pants. 

He doesn’t look at the men but he can swear one of them lets out an appreciative whistle. He knows he’s not ugly, sharp jaw, broad shoulders and strong pecs. He could lose some weight but he’s slowly coming to terms with people - men - actually liking his arse and thighs the way they are. 

“We have seen a cock before, Mr Unwin. No need to hide it.” Percival still doesn’t smile.

Eggsy pulls his hands away and assumes an almost military-esque position. His prick hangs soft between his thighs.

“You don’t have performance anxiety, do you?”

“Just a bit nervous, Sir.”

“I see. Well then… I think we can move to the practical test now. “ Percival looks at the two men who haven’t spoken yet. One is a posh looking fellow with black rimmed glass, the other bald and wearing an honest to god kilt. “Galahad, Merlin… if you’d be so kind.”

“What… what’s happening?”

Now Percival does smile. “Mr Unwin, you’ve applied for Kingsman Productions. The finest porn in Great Britain. You’re going to get fucked.”


	9. Day 9 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - pegging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - pegging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also part of my "Teachers, Whores & Chambermaids" series.
> 
> Thanks to elton-hercules-john for giving me the idea :)

“Is it not too tight?” Eggsy asks as he fastens the harness around Harry's hips. 

“No, Teacher. It's perfect.” Harry bounces a bit on the balls of his feet, testing how the straps hold up the weight of the heavy dildo attached to the harness. 

“You ready, then?”

“When you are?”

Eggsy goes on tiptoes and presses an almost chaste kiss to his husband's mouth. Then he reaches down between Harry's legs and gives his lace-covered cock a gentle squeeze. “You're tucked away nicely? Don't want you to pinch anything in the heat of the moment.”

“I am. I put on your favorite pair.”

“Right, then… how do you want me?”

“I… on your back, please. I want to see your face.”

“As you wish.” With a boyish grin Eggsy hops onto the bed and shuffles into position. He lays on his back and pulls his knees up, folding himself in half. He's still working on getting his legs behind his arms but one thing at a time. 

For now, the task at hand is taking their biggest dildo up his arse. 

Brow furrowed in concentration, Harry lines the lubed up toy up with Eggsy's reddened sphincter. “Are you ready for me, Teacher?” 

“Give me your cock,” Eggsy urges him on.

Harry's face falters a little as he looks down at the massive plastic shaft in his grip that sits over his own subpar cock. His own cock that isn't big enough to properly satisfy his husband. Since not even a regular sized prick can do that, they have resorted to this. To having Harry put on the strap-on and go to town on Eggsy.

Slowly, he eases the tip of the dildo into Eggsy's loosened hole. It slips in easily.

“Oh yes, babe… that's it.” Eggsy's head rolls back against the mattress. He reaches down and pulls himself open for more of the toy. “More… give me more.”

Harry pushes, carefully inching the dildo forward. He's halfway in when he changes his position to put his weight behind it, thrusting forward. 

“You're beautiful,” he says almost absently, letting his fingers ghost over Eggsy's still limp cock. He'll get hard once Harry is all the way inside him. 

“I love you, babe,” Eggsy replies dreamily. “Thank you for doing this.”

Harry smiles down at him. “Anything for you.” 

“Take me. Fuck me properly.” 

Harry does.

It doesn't take him long to bottom out, to bury the massive dildo all the way in Eggsy's arse. When he pulls almost all the way out and pushes in again in one swift motion, he makes Eggsy's toes curl. 

“Yessss, babe. So good. I need you to go hard. Need to make me come with your cock.” 

“I'll make you feel so good, Teacher. Give you what you need. Give you my cock.”

Eggsy grins at him. “Are you getting hard, babe?”

Harry groans. “Yes. Feels good to be inside you.”

“Good. Cuz I want it down my throat once you're done with me.”


	10. Day 10 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - daddy kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - daddy kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was requested by Mx. Anonymous on tumblr and it got... kinda dark?  
> It's not what I had intended after the first few lines but... there it is.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks as he steps out of the shower. 

“I… I was just looking if there was something in the hamper for the wash. I didn't… I didn't know you'd still be in here,” Eggsy stammers, backing out of the en suite and into the master bedroom. 

“Don't lie, my boy. It's unbecoming. You knew I was in there and you wanted to take a peak.”

“N… no, that's not…”

“Eggsy… be truthful. You mustn't lie to Daddy.”

Eggsy looks down at his shoes as Harry towers over him. “I'm sorry.”

“What was that?”

“I'm sorry, Daddy.”

“Tell me what you really came in there for.”

Eggsy clears his throat. “I… you're so very beautiful, Daddy. I… was just… I needed to have a look before you left for work.”

“Why?”

“Tide me over, I suppose.” 

“You know you mustn't touch, my boy. Do you touch while I'm away?”

Eggsy shakes his head almost panickingly. “No, Daddy. Swear down, I don't.”

“Sit down, Eggsy.” Harry gestures towards the bed.

“Yes, Daddy.” Eggsy sits, placing his hands on his knees like he's supposed to.

Not at all concerned about his towel-clad state, Harry sits down next to him. He puts a hand on Eggsy's thigh just below the hem of his schoolboy shorts. “Are you telling me the truth, my boy?”

“Yes, I am, Daddy. I'm not touching, I promise.”

Harry inches his fingers up Eggsy's pant leg, easily finding the steel rings of Eggsy's cockcage. “You understand that this belongs to me, don't you? You mustn't use this for your own pleasure. It's only there to serve me.”

Eggsy swallows, trying this best not to get hard inside the tight confines of the cage. It's of little use since Harry knows perfectly well he only needs to touch the very crown of Eggsy's cock and he's a lost cause. They still haven't found a way to drive that out of him.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“My sweet boy.” Harry crowds against him, pressing a kiss to the shell of Eggsy's ear. “You're doing so good for me. I know it can be hard sometimes. It’s still all so new for you, so fresh. But you understand I only have your best interest in mind, don’t you?”

Eggsy nods.

“Words, my darling.”

“Yes, Daddy. I understand.”

“I know you do. You’re such a smart boy.” Harry pulls him in for a long kiss. “Now be a darling and get the cane.”

“What? But I…,” Eggsy protests.

“Eggsy,” Harry interrupts, tone cool. “You did get hard without my explicit permission. You know there’s punishment for that.”

“But _you_ touched _me_.”

“You still should have asked. It’s part of the rules. Off you go, get the cane.”

“Daddy,” Eggsy whines, eyes glittering. 

“I know your brain understands all of this already. But your body doesn’t. We need to change that. Can you tell me why?” Harry rises, towering over him.

Eggsy hangs his head, sniffling a bit. “Because Daddy knows best.”


	11. Day 11 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - temperature play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - temperature play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a weird and silly one. 
> 
> Mixed bag of efforts...

Crowley runs cold. 

Part of it is due to him being an honest to the devil snake. The rest is because even by humanoid standards, he’s a skinny bastard.

Which is why - among other more complicated reasons - Aziraphale’s touch almost burns him.

They find out about that on their first night. 

They find out about that when Crowley unceremoniously lands on Aziraphale’s soft bedding, limbs and hair splayed out as if there’s no other way to do it.

Aziraphale strips him. He insists on doing it by hand and not just miracle Crowley’s clothes off. Just in case Upstairs still keeps track.

When the angel’s fingertips graze his skin - innocently enough as he pops the buttons of his shirt - Crowley draws in a sharp breath.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Aziraphale asks, slight fear in his eyes.

As if to answer, Crowley reaches for his wrist and presses the flat of Aziraphale’s palm against his chest. His eyes flicker shut at the sensation, at the subtle tingle of warmth of the angel’s fingers seeping into his skin.

For once, Aziraphale catches on rather quickly. He frees himself from Crowley’s grip but makes sure his fingers keep brushing against his chest as he continues to strip him. 

Aziraphale takes his time with him, the bastard that he is. He works the buttons out of their holes at a painfully slow pace, fingertips tracking along Crowley’s chest as he goes. When the shirt is finally gone, he pulls Crowley’s belt out of its loops. 

Getting him out of his jeans however proves to be a herculean task in and of itself. It doesn’t help that even Aziraphale’s slightest touches make the demon squirm underneath him, trying to escape and push into the ministrations at the same time.

Completely naked now, Crowley is at the angel’s mercy who seems to thoroughly enjoy this new-found effect he has on him. He lets his hands ghost over Crowley’s skin, sometimes fully touching, sometimes not, drawing trails of heat over his chest, his nipples, his stomach.

Wherever he does touch him properly, Crowley’s skin reddens just so and soon enough, Aziraphale has painted him in a loose pattern that almost flares up on Crowley’s pale body. 

“You’re beautiful, my dear,” Aziraphale says absently. Now the red reaches Crowley’s face, too.

Crowley almost comes apart when Aziraphale enters him. They haven’t discussed this, they just go with what comes to them naturally. So the angel finds himself pushing into him, slick and inviting, and it sets Crowley almost literally ablaze. 

He clutches onto Aziraphale’s shoulders, trying to ground himself against the burning heat that lights him up from within.

“Oh bloody hell,” Crowley hisses, feeling the angel’s body in more ways than one. 

“No shop talk in bed, dear,” Aziraphale smiles cheekily. 

Crowley breaks into an almost boyish giggle, wrapping one leg around the angel’s hips. “Well, I’ll leave it to you to explain to them how this took me out when even holy water couldn’t.”


	12. Day 12 - Kingsman - Eggsy/Percical - dacryphilia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12 - Kingsman - Eggsy/Percical - dacryphilia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my verse [the wicked](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906816)

Eggsy groans as the hook slides into his arse. He groans again when the heavy ball at its end presses against his prostate. Then his mouth falls open in a gasp when Percival pulls at the hook. 

“Oh, you hate that, don’t you? You hate the hook,” Percival taunts him, an evil grin tugging at his lips. 

“I do, Herr.”

“I know you do. Which is why it’s the perfect punishment for mouthy little slag like you.” With two fingers, he hooks into the corner of Eggsy’s mouth, making him look at him. He tugs harder when he sees the defiant glint in the boy’s eyes. “You think you can run your mouth at the Table like that? In front of everyone?”

“You were wrong, Herr,” Eggsy mumbles around Percival’s fingers, slit dripping from his lip.

“I know I was. And you’re fine to address it. But you’ll do it properly and not just blurt ‘fuck, no’ like the little tart that you are.”

Eggsy turns his eyes down. “Sorry, Herr.”

“You will be, Eggsy. You will be.”

With coarse motion, Percival loops the rope that’s attached to the hook through a D-ring in Eggsy’s collar. The tension of the rope makes Eggsy arch his back, bringing head and arse together. A sturdy knot holds him in place.

“Please, Herr,” Eggsy whimpers, his voice strained

“No more words from you now.” Once again, Percival pushes two fingers down Eggsy’s throat, making him choke. Tears spring to Eggsy’s eyes and he tries to pull away but is perfectly trapped in position. “That’s right. That’s what I want from you.” 

With the pad of his thumb, Percival brushes a tear from Eggsy’s cheek while using the other hand to unzip his trousers. His cock comes free with an almost comical bounce, swaying hard in front of Eggsy’s face. 

“Open up, boy. Get it in your mouth.”

Slobber already spills down Eggsy’s chin as he moves over his master’s prick. Every movement tugs him into different directions, takes his breath or pulls at his hole, and he gasps fish-like as Pervical makes him swallow his cock.

He doesn’t wait for Eggsy to adjust. He just feeds his prick to him, drawing first a moan, then a croak, then a choke. 

The lack of oxygen and options brings more tears to Eggsy’s eyes. He knows that’s what Percival is after. To see him come apart like this. To see the desperation on his face. And to know he put it there.

So with all the bravery he can muster, Eggsy begins to suck him. It’s sloppy, probably not even good, but it still does the trick.

Percival pulls him up by his collar and pinches his nose, making sure Eggsy opens his mouth as he begins to pump into him. Eggsy gasps helpless, trying to swallow as much as he can, but most just runs with his chin. 

He’s sobbing openly now. “I’m sorry, Herr.”

“I know you are, boy. Now clean me up.”


	13. Day 13 - Kingsman - Percival/Merlin/Eggsy - spanking & frottage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13 - Kingsman - Percival/Merlin/Eggsy - spanking & frottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mx Anon on tumblr requested "spanking/frottage with perciwin or Merwin preferably with Egg being on the receiving end" so I ended up with all of that....
> 
> This is set in my verse [the wicked](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906816)

“Over the pet's lap with you,” Percival orders. “Arse up in the air. There's a good boy.”

Eggsy leans over Merlin's lap, his fingers and toes barely touching the floor. He makes sure he has his back arched just right, showing off his arse. His cock, hard and neglected, is trapped against Merlin's thigh.

“You'll have twenty strikes today.” Percival sits down in the other armchair across from Merlin, crossing his legs. It does nothing to hide his erection and he's not aiming to do so. “You'll get them from Merlin as his lesson to deal out punishment when it's asked from him. You'll count them out loud and clear, Eggsy. If you're a good boy, you may ask to come on Merlin's leg.”

“Yes, Herr,” Eggsy says.

“Are you ready, pet?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Eggsy can feel Merlin's cock hardening against his chest. He's not very fond of this exercise, of helping in Merlin's education but it's not like he has much of a choice. It's either this or a much more painful exercise at his master's hand.

The first strike takes Eggsy by surprise, rocks him into Merlin’s leg, and he lets out a little yelp. Thankfully, he still has the presence of mind to count the blow before Percival can call him out for it. 

That presence slowly dwindles with every new hit. Merlin’s hand is broad, his arm strong, and he deals out every slap with frightening accuracy. 

Eggsy barely has time to count the strikes. They come fast, with almost no time to breath in between. With every new one he’s driven forward against Merlin’s thigh, the coarse fabric of his trousers giving his cock an all too nice friction.

“Twenty, Herr,” he finally breaths, burying his face against his own arm.

“Look at the both of you,” Percival drawls. “As if you’ve never done anything else. You did good, pet.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Eggsy could swear he feels Merlin’s cock twitch at the praise. 

“And you, Eggsy… what a nice red arse you have now. I can’t wait to get inside that later. Make you feel it all over again.”

“Yes, Herr.” Eggsy tries not to whimper. 

“Would you like to come now, boy?”

“Please, Herr.”

“Ask me properly.”

Eggsy licks his lips. “May I come against Merlin’s leg, Herr?”

“You may.”

Eggsy almost groans in relief. He shifts his position to bring more of his legs underneath him for leverage. Then he rolls his hips and brings his cock against Merlin’s thigh.

“Now that’s beautiful,” Percival almost laughs. “You look so desperate like that. So pathetic.”

Because he is desperate and pathetic, Eggsy begins to hump Merlin’s leg in earnest. Over and over he lifts and rolls his hips, pressing his cock against Merlin. It’s ridiculous and it’s so urgent that it hurts. 

“Hold him down, pet. He’s close.”

Percival’s words and Merlin’s hand in the back of his neck take Eggsy over the edge. 

“Oh, and when you’re done… you’ll lick it up.”


	14. Day 14 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - face sitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - face sitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he/him pronouns and a vulva for Aziraphale... just because he can.

“Oh yes.. Yes, that’s going to be quite nice…. Are you comfortable, my dear?” Aziraphale looks down his body that weirdly extends into Crowley’s.

The demon is stretched out underneath him, the angel perching over his face, one knee on either side of his head.

Crowley gives him a thumbs up that makes Aziraphale giggle and his thighs quiver. 

“Go to it then, my sweet. We don’t have all da-oooooooh yes.” Aziraphale’s voice trails off and he digs his fingers into his knees.

Having a husband with an actual, properly forked tongue has quite a few advantages. One, it guarantees a rather quick passage in most queues. Two, it’s hilarious to watch some emo-goth-punk person coming up to Crowley and ask when he had it done, extending their own rather ghastly looking forked tongue. Three, getting oral pleasure from him is spectacular. Aziraphale must know, there’s already been a complaint from the neighbors. 

That’s how he finds himself sitting over Crowley’s face, the demon’s tongue slithering slowly through Aziraphale’s wet folds. 

At some point he had made the incredibly tedious effort to create the most delicious vulva Crowley had ever tasted - not that there had been many - because it was simply more fun than a penis. 

Crowley goes down on him with gusto, curling his tongue around Aziraphale’s clit before sucking it hard into his mouth. The angel above him shrieks in delight, boring down him and almost cutting off his air. 

“Oh dear, that’s…,” his words turn into a low grunt. “More, please.”

Crowley obliges gladly, licking his way into him, tonguing deep and deeper still. Then he turns his attention back to Aziraphale’s clit, drawing a slow pattern around that soon enough has the angel rock down against him, seeking more.

Aziraphale feels Crowley grin against his skin when he climaxes for the first time. With a wet slurp Crowley drinks up what the angel offers him, coaxing more and more from him with every flick of his tongue.

After the third orgasm in rapid succession, Crowley licks one quick swoop around the other entrance Aziraphale has also deemed too much fun to not have. 

“Oh my sweet lo…”

Crowley hisses against him, cutting him off mid-word.

“I’m sorry, darling. Please do continue.”

Crowley punishes him immediately. He reaches up and pulls Aziraphale down against him, perfectly sealing his eager mouth to the angel’s center. He tongues at him, teases, touches only ever so lightly until he has Aziraphale right on the edge. And then he pulls back again, only his breath and the vibrations of his tongue ghosting against the angel’s clit.

“Please, dear,” Aziraphale whines, trying to get more than that. “Please let me finish…”

Crowley lets him. Three more times with barely time to breath in between, one climax chasing the other until Aziraphale’s entire body is vibrating is pure ecstasy. 

Finally Crowley lets up, licking around his glistening lips. For someone who doesn’t find much joy in eating, he certainly finds joy in this.


	15. Day 15 - Kingsman - Alistaire/Hamish - prostitution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15 - Kingsman - Alistaire/Hamish - prostitution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't kinky... just a fun little thing that takes place my [teachers, whores & chambermaids](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561021) verse

“That thing surely is worth its weight in gold,” Alistaire says, putting a few last touches to the painting on the easel in front of him. “It’s a bloody work of art.”

“Literally,” Hamish shoots back, adjusting his position where he’s perched on a stool. “Are you about done?”

“Patience, Hamish. I did need a lot more paint than I thought I would.” Alistaire winks at him.

“You’ve painted my cock seven times already. That excuse is getting old.”

“What can I say? I like looking at it”

Hamish scoffs. “You’re one of very few people then.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true. Last bloke I picked up at the pub first laughed, then he left. It’s been… bloody hell… it’s been eight months since I had proper sex. All because of this.” Hamish looks down between his legs and at the heavy cock hanging there. Even it’s flaccid state it’s a good eleven inches long and more than six inches in circumference. “It’s a bloody curse.”

Alistaire snorts. “As my dear mother used to say… You just haven’t found the first person yet.”

“The person would be someone who likes to be split in half by this.”

“There’s a market for everything.” With a flourish, Alistaire signs the painting. Then he gingerly picks it up and turns it around so that Hamish can take a look. “What do you think?”

“There’s a market for everything.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m almost willing to let you.”

Alistaire flips him off. “Care for a drink?”

“Please.” Hamish covers himself with the flimsy robe Alistaire lends him for whenever he is modeling for him.

From a little cart in the corner of the rickety studio, Alistaire fetches them both a glass of whisky. With it, he hands Hamish a business card.

“What is that?” 

“Read it.”

“Kingsman. London’s finest adult services. Unique. Exclusive. Discret,” Hamish reads the gold foil text. “Are you telling me to get myself a rentboy?”

“Don’t be daft. You’re way too tight-fisted for that.” Alistaire downs his drink. “I’m telling you… become a rentboy.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Well, maybe not a boy. You’re way past that obviously but... “

“You want me to become a whore?”

“I don’t want you to do anything. Except for getting laid properly so you might be a little less grumpy.” Alistaire reaches for the Scot’s huge cock. “This… is a gift. There are so many guys out there literally gagging for this. Probably girls, too. But nobody wants to admit they’re longing for a nice, big cock that fills them up so good. You could make a fortune.”

Despite himself Hamish feels his prick harden. “Even if…And I’m not saying this isn’t ridiculous… how would I get in? Do they have an office I can go to and apply for a job? And if they ask what my qualifications are, I just whip this out?”

“That’s probably how it goes. Believe me… if you do whip this out… you will be their most prized possession.”


	16. Day 16 - Kingsman - Harry/Hamish - intercrural sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16 - Kingsman - Harry/Hamish - intercrural sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... took a turn. 
> 
> Mx Anon on Tumblr requested incrural Merlahad and the lovely elton-hercules-john prompted the Harry in university bit... 
> 
> The sad stuff is all mine.

“We can’t. We mustn’t,” Harry tries to protest as he lets himself be dragged along into The Grove, the small wooded patch of land near the campus buildings. “It’s… it’s forbidden.”

“It’s only forbidden if we get caught,” the other man says with a wink, pulling him forward. 

The other man… 

*

“Name’s Hamish…. I work maintenance here. I’m new.”

“Harry… my name is Harry. I’m not.” 

Harry could only stare at the man who had asked to join him in the shade for a lunch break. He was… well, first of all, he was a man. Not a boy like all the others but a proper man. Tall like Harry but with his head shaved (probably to hide a receding hairline, Harry deduced quickly), with slightly hawkish features and twinking green eyes.  
*

“I… I don’t think I can. We could get arrested, Hamish.” Harry stops, wrenching himself free. 

“By whom? There’s nobody there. Everybody left for their summer break.”

“I know but…,” Harry shoulders sag. 

“Harry, I know you’re scared. That’s what they want. They want you to be scared of who you are.” Hamish leans against a tree - their tree - and looks at him, his usually mischievous eyes somewhat sad now.

*

“What are you reading?” Hamish asks when he joins Harry for the third time.

“A textbook on lepidoptery.”

“Fine, don’t tell me then.”

Harry smiles at that. “Butterflies.”

“Read to me?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Thank you.”

“No, don’t…. I mean… it’s actually quite boring.”

“I don’t care.”

*

“Don’t you want me, then?” Hamish challenges.

“I… you know I do.”

“But you won’t fuck me.”

“Don’t use that language.” Harry looks away. “I want to but…”

*

“What on earth are you doing?” Harry shies away and lurches to his feet, one hand over his mouth. 

“I’m… I’m sorry, Harry. I shouldn’t have done that. I thought… I thought you were like me.”

“And what is that then?” Harry knows. He has always known. 

“I thought you were gay, too.”

*

“What on earth are you doing?” 

Harry watches in something close to horror as Hamish turns around and unzips his trousers. He pushes them down to his knees, then he leans forwards against the tree.

“Let’s do it, then. If you want to and I want to… we should do it.”

“Hamish, please.” Harry tries to stay focused but his eyes are glued to the beautifully milky skin of Hamish naked arse in front of him. Despite himself he cups his own hardening cock through his trousers. He has fantasized about this a hundred times. Since the very first he’d seen Hamish standing over him.

Hamish sighs, leaning his head against the rough bark of the tree. “Just… just put it between my legs, then. We can pretend we’re… let’s just get off together, yeah?”

It’s pathetic. 

The way Harry humps him from behind, his cock tugged between Hamish’s strong thighs, one hand on his cock to stroke him.

“I’m so close, Hamish… I’m going to…”

“I love you, Harry.”


	17. Day 17 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - threesome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - threesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my [young and horny lovers, back seat, daddy's car](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1292807)verse

“You two are a bit insatiable, aren’t you?” Eggsy looks over his shoulder.

“We did spend all weekend watching you bend yourself in all directions. There’s only so much we can do,” Merlin answers matter-of-factly as if Harry isn’t just swallowing his cock.

“Well, you already did prep me, so… anyone going to fuck me, then?” Eggsy wriggles said prepped arse from left to right where he’s on all fours on the huge bed. 

“Puppy, do you want to go first?” Merlin threads his fingers through his husband’s hair, pulling him off his prick.

“Get him truly ready for you?”

“You know me too well. Go on.”

Harry rises to his feet and walks over to the bed. From a pile, he takes a condom and rolls it down his shaft. Then he lubes himself up and aligns his cock with Eggsy’s stretched hole.

“Are you ready for me?”

“More then, Harry. Don’t hold back. Either of you.”

“You heard the boy, Harry,” Merlin says, slowly stroking himself. “Put it to him.”

Harry pushes forward and bottoms out in one smooth thrust.

“Fuck yes,” Eggsy groans. “Missed your cock so much. Missed getting fucked by you.”

“We’ve barely started, my boy. If you can still talk…” Harry pumps into him hard as if his point needs any more emphasis. Rewarded with Eggsy’s guttural groan, he digs his fingers into Eggsy’s arse and sets a relentless pace. With every thrust he drives Eggsy forward and into the mattress.

“Look at you, puppy… you haven’t fucked me like that since young Eggsy moved in next door.” Merlin steps up to them, running his hand over Harry’s arse. 

“We have... all weekend.... to rectify that… Daddy.”

“I’m sure we will.”

“Less talking…. More fucking,” Eggsy whines. “I need it…. Need it so bad.”

“Mind if I took a turn now, puppy?”

Harry stills, then pulls out. He holds Eggsy open for Merlin to align his slicked up cock with his gaping hole.

“Let’s see if you can take it as hard as you say you need it.”

Merlin doesn’t hold back as he begins to fuck Eggsy. He puts one foot up on the bed for a better angle, thrusting into him hard and fast, flesh slapping against flesh with the most obscene sound.

By the time they’ve switched places again and Harry mounts Eggsy on the bed, the young man is a moaning mess. Sweat is rolling down down his spine and his thighs are quivering with the strain.

“Fuck… so good...your cocks… brilliant…. Need to… need to come...,” Eggsy mumbles breathless into the bedding. He cries out when Merlin enters him a second time.

He, too, has climbed onto the bed to truly drill into Eggsy the way he begs them to do. He presses the young man into an even deeper arch, bottoming out with every thrust. Then he pulls out, slumps down on the bed and pulls his legs up.

“I think the puppy should fuck me first.”


	18. Day 18 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - petplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 18 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - petplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in the gorgeous [Evil Angel](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525892) verse by zebraljb.

“What a beautiful puppy.”

“Thank you, Master.” The words are out of Eggsy’s mouth before he has even thought them. Heat explodes on his face and he stares at Merlin where he’s standing behind the kennel gates.

Eggsy stares at Merlin, Merlin stares at Eggsy, Richard stares at Eggsy, and Odin - an indeed very beautiful German Shepard pup - looks at Eggsy, tongue lolling.

Then Eggsy scampers off into the kennel and slams the door behind him.

*

“Whatever did you do to our boy?” Harry greets him as Merlin steps into the door. At his feet cowers a very naked Eggsy, clad in his mits, ears and tail. Even if the tail is made of rubber, it seems a little droopy now.

“I did do exactly nothing,” Merlin protests. “I merely complemented one of the new pups. And our boy here had a bit of a Pavlovian reaction and thanked me. Called me Master, too.”

Harry runs his fingers through Eggsy’s hair. “Is that so?”

Eggsy yiffs. 

“In front of Richard,” Merlin continues. 

“Oh… that explains it. Did you feel embarrassed, puppy?”

Eggsy hangs his head, nosing at Harry’s knee.

“Do you feel embarrassed now, lad?” Merlin asks, putting a hand in the back of Eggsy’s neck.

Eggsy shakes his head.

“Good. There is no need to. Not with us or with Richard. It was a lapse of your tongue. Only shows how well we’ve trained you.”

Eggsy sniffs. He doesn’t see the look Harry and Merlin exchange above him. 

“What do you say, puppy… how about we put that eager tongue of yours to use?”

Eggsy looks at his Master, then yiffs. 

“Thought so, my puppy. Always so eager for us… Harry, if you please?”

Harry stands, careful not to tread on Eggsy’s hands. Then he opens his belt and pushes his trousers down to his ankles. His pants follow without much ado.

“You know what beautiful puppies like you do when they meet, don’t you, Eggsy?” Merlin scritches him behind his ears. “They sniff each other’s arses, don’t they? But since you’re a polite puppy… why don’t you give Harry’s a good lick instead?”

“You’re a right bastard, aren’t you?” Harry asks in a lame protest.

“You did mention that in your vows, husband. Now, do you want to be on your back or on your knees?”

Harry glowers at him. Then he shucks out of his trousers and pants, sits down and pulls his knees up, exposing himself to Eggsy.

Eggsy yiffs excitedly. 

“Look at how eager your Sir is, Eggsy. Why don’t you get your tongue in there like a good boy?”

Eggsy all but leaps forward and buries his face between Harry’s arse cheeks, tongue lapping at his puckered entrance.

“Christ, our boy is a menace,” Harry moans heavily.

“Isn’t he just?” Merlin gives Eggsy a playful slap on his arse. Eggsy wags his tail. “Do you like tasting your Sir’s arse?” Another wag. “And how would you like your Master’s cock up yours?”

Another wag.


	19. Day 19 - Good Omens - Aziraphale/Crowley - mirror sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 19 - Good Omens - Aziraphale/Crowley - mirror sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on [this prompt](https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/616.html?thread=107368#cmt107368) of the GO kink meme

He shouldn’t be doing this. Really. Not at all. Not one bit of it.

And yet, Aziraphale finds himself wandering through Crowley’s flat - it doesn’t really count as a flat, does it? - letting his fingers trail along each surface, breathing in the air that smells just a bit green.

It’s not really his fingers, though. They’re Crowley’s, at least by the look of them. Long, slender but warm like Aziraphale’s. He touches the desk, the chair - thrown, really - the walls. 

That’s how he ends up in the bedroom. He’s been putting this off because it’s wrong. It’s not his place. Can’t ever be.

And yet, when he sinks down on the bed, he can just imagine it. 

It’s been imagining it a lot lately. Lately being the last 40 years. Has imagined being asked back here, being undressed slowly or fast depending on their mood, being kissed and held and… more. Most of the time he imagines they’d do it at the shop because he knows all the sturdy surfaces and which rug is the softest but… he can’t. Ever. Because of… well, reasons.

Aziraphale-as-Crowley’s hand drops between his legs. He hasn’t given much thought as to what he’d put there when they’d agreed to switch bodies. What he finds there now is a sensitive warmth and maybe just the tiniest trace of dampness.

He shouldn’t be doing this. Really. Not at all. Not one bit of it. 

And yet, Aziraphale finds himself naked on Crowley’s bed, staring up at the mirror that hadn’t been there a moment before.

Goodness, he is beautiful. No, Crowley is beautiful. Always has been. But this… naked like this… his skin paling against the dark sheets, hair spilling in red tresses over the over pillow - Aziraphale has always liked the long hair - he’s a masterpiece.

He’s so thin, almost gaunt in places. Places Aziraphale traces now with Crowley’s hands. His chest with nipples that beg to be tweaked. His stomach that’s just a bit ticklish at the sides. His… 

Aziraphale gasps loudly when his fingers dip between his legs, his burrowed body writhing even at this small touch. How long has it been? Has it ever been?

He doesn’t dwell on that but touches himself deeper, finding that wet heat with his fingertips. He has practiced this on himself - a lot in the last 40 years - and he knows where to touch and how and….

With a hitched screams he finishes quickly, the feeling overwhelming but the sight… the sight up there in the mirror... That pale body, twitching in the afterglow, flushed just so… 

Aziraphale does it again. And a third time. 

If this is all he gets, he might as well savour it. He sobs quietly as he licks his fingers clean.

Then he runs.

*

His place smells different when Crowley returns that afternoon. It smells green and… of something else.

He isn’t sure what it is until he finds the mirror above his bed and the wet spot on his sheet.


	20. Day 20 - Kingsman - Eggys/everybody - creampie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20 - Kingsman - Eggys/everybody - creampie

A knock on the door makes Eggsy look up from his paperwork. “Enter.”

Bors sticks his head in. “I hear it’s your turn this week?”

“It is. Please, come in. How do you want it?”

“On your knees is fine. Just really need to get off, is all.”

“Of course.” Eggsy stands and on slightly shaking legs, he walks to the free spot in the middle of the room. He drops to his knees, unzips his trousers and pushes them down. Then he goes on all fours. “I’m ready.”

Bors gets into position behind him. There’s the sound of the zipper, the ruffles of clothes. And the Bors’ fingers close around the big plug nestled between Eggsy’s arse cheeks. Eggsy pushes back until he has the widest part of the plug out. Then he has to clench to keep the first two loads in.

“Aren’t you going to say the words?” Bors asks, the tip of his cock already pushing at Eggsy’s hole.

“I’m yours to use, Agent Bors.”

“That a boy.”

Bors finishes quickly, humping Eggsy in a spasmodic rhythm. When he has pumped deep into Eggsy, he pulls out at last and quickly reaches for the plug. The heavy metal bulb slides in as easily as it has come out. 

“Thank you for your contribution, Agent Bors,” Eggsy says dutifully as the agent rises to straighten his clothes.

“Thank you for your services. Might need them again later. I’m scheduled at the range and that always gets me hard.”

“I’ll be here.”

*

Dagonet visits him about an hour later and has him over the desk. It takes the agent forever to come but when it does, he drives into Eggsy with relentless thrusts.

*

Harry uses him next. 

While Eggsy still goes through the motions and says all the words, Harry is at least kind enough to take him on his back on the couch.

“Thank you, my boy. That was most pleasing.” Harry even kisses him after.

It’s just before Eggsy’s glasses ping and he’s called to Merlin’s office. 

Merlin is the only one he’s allowed to visit during his service week, otherwise he’s ordered to stay in his office and be ready.

He always rides Merlin at his desk.

*

After that it’s Kay. Then it’s Bors for a second time. The last is Lamorack and he’s still going at it, when Percival enters Eggsy’s office. 

“Please, don’t let me disturb you.” Percival sits on the couch and gently cups his cock while Eggsy is getting mounted on the carpet in front of him.

Lamorack almost performs, moaning and groaning loudly before he finally spills into Eggsy.

“How many, Eggsy?” Percival asks when they’re alone.

“Nine, Herr.”

“Beautiful… why don’t I be your tenth?”

“I’m your to use, Herr Percival.”

“Yes, you are.” Percival stands over him, cock in hand. “Let me see.”

Eggsy spreads his arse cheeks and come begins to dribble from his hole.

“You look so full already, boy. But let me top you up.”


	21. Day 21 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - exhibitionism/voyeurism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - exhibitionism/voyeurism

“Stand in front of the mirror, Eggsy,” Percival orders. “Look at yourself.”

Eggsy stands in front of the large mirror in Percival’s private suite. He suspects that it’s not just a regular mirror but he doesn’t dare ask.

“Do you like what you see, Eggsy?”

“I do, Sir.”

“Good. And so do I. You were my favorite recruit out of the group and I’m glad you made it through to the end.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Take your clothes off, Eggsy.”

Eggsy looks at him, then swallows. Then he strips naked. He keeps the boots on because Percival likes that. 

“You have a beautiful body.” Percival steps up behind him and wraps his arms around Eggsy’s waist, one hand trailing down to his cock. “And this… maybe I should let you fuck me with this at some point. Would you like that?”

“I would, Sir.”

“Shame that won’t happen until you’ve completed your training, though... ,” Percival drawls, giving Eggsy a slow stroke. “Why don’t you show us what else you’ve learned. Kneel.”

Dutifully, Eggsy sinks to his knees, hands clasped behind his back.

“Turn to the side.”

Eggsy shuffles around.

“Open your mouth. Tongue out.”

Eggsy barely has time to obey before Percival has his prick just there, grazing the tip of his tongue. “Would you like to suck this for me?”

“Please, Sir.”

“I will put this all the way down your throat and you will not pull away, am I right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Eggsy forces himself to relax, to relax his jaw and throat when Percival starts to push into him. They have practiced this many times. Oftentimes until Eggsy had been ready to pass out from the lack of oxygen. But now it’s almost easy and he heaves only a little when Percival pushes past his throat.

“That’s a good boy. Almost no gag reflex.” Percival runs his hand through Eggsy’s hair, the gesture almost gentle. “Now turn towards the mirror. Go on all fours.”

Eggsy sucks in a breath when Percival pulls his cock out and licks the spit off his lips. He drops a little gracelessly to his hands, facing the mirror.

Percival stands over him, lazily stroking himself. It’s not just his eyes on him. He understands that now. Someone is watching them through that mirror. Probably Harry and Merlin, maybe the other agents as well.

“I will take you now, boy. Are you ready?”

“I am, Sir.”

“Good.” Percival kneels down behind, running a finger along his cleft. “You’re prepared, I see.”

“Always, Sir.” Eggsy has learned that the hard way.

“Now that you’re a proper agent… I think it’s time you started addressing me properly, too.” Percival pulls Eggsy’s head back by his hair. “I will call me Herr from now on. Is that clear?”

“Yes, S… Herr.”

“Failing to do so will result in punishment.”

“Understood, Herr.”

“Good.” Percival lets him go. “Then you should brace yourself because I will not be gentle with you.”

“Don’t expect you to, Herr.”

“Good boy.”


	22. Day 22 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry - formal wear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 22 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry - formal wear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for my darling zebraljb.
> 
> The focus isn't really on Harry here but... I hope you like it :)

“You look…” Words fail Harry as he looks at his newly wedded husband. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Merlin follows his gaze. “You’ve seen me in a kilt before.”

“But not on our wedding day.”

“That is correct.” Merlin’s eyes fall on the platinum wedding band on his fingers. “You do clean up nicely yourself.”

“Of course, I do.” Harry puffs out his chest, making the buttons of his pristine white shirt creak with effort. 

“Peacock.”

“I love you.”

*

“I cannot wait to get my hands on you.” Merlin’s voice is slightly fuzzy and his accent thicker than usual as he drags Harry along into the hotel suite. 

“That’s why you’ve been groping me on the dancefloor.”

“I wasn’t groping. I was holding on. You know I can’t dance.”

“But you can _move_ , my love.” Harry reels him in for a hard kiss before he nudges him backwards until Merlin slumps down on the bed. Harry goes to his knees in front of him, one hand on either thigh. “May I?”

“Couldn’t stop you if I tried.”

Harry lifts Merlin’s kilt, one brow ticking up. “Oh my, he really is a Scot.”

“All nine inches.”

Now the other brow rises as well. “I might only have one eye but…”

“Are you going to suck it or not?”

Harry seems to consider for a moment if only for the show of it. Then he dives down and takes most of those “nine inches” into his mouth. Merlin cups the back of his head underneath his kilt, pulling him even closer.

Harry sucks him with gusto, making the most debauched slurping sound whenever he runs his tongue around the head of his now husband’s prick, licking up the copious amount of precome. He brings him just that close before pulling back, reappearing from underneath the heavy tweed with his hair in delicious disarray.

“You know… these kilts are so convenient when you want a quickie,” he says with a sly grin.

“Don’t use the word quickie on our wedding night.”

“Will you keep this on, then? When I _take_ you as my husband.”

Merlin’s brows go up. “Will you keep on yours?”

“Lose the tie, maybe?”

“We better get to it, then.”

Merlin all but hops up to his feet, then turns to kneel down on the bed. With a little flourish, he flicks up the tail of his kilt, exposing his naked arse.

Harry makes quick work of preparing Merlin. With slicked fingers he opens him until he’s close to the edge once more.

“Please, Harry,” Merlin all but whines at the third finger. “Get inside me… now.”

“Married for all of six hours and he already thinks he’s the boss of me.” Harry pulls down the zipper of his dress pants and frees his cock. It stands out comically against the black fabric, the tip wet with precome. Not caring about making a mess, he lubes himself up and aligns his cock with Merlin’s hole. “Ready for me?”

“For better or worse.”


	23. Day 23 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - double penetration in one hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 23 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - double penetration in one hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my [young and horny lovers, back seat, daddy's car](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1292807)verse

Eggsy sits astride Merlin’s hips, kissing him almost lazily. 

“Can’t believe you’re up for it again,” he says, pressing a smile to Merlin’s lips.

“Having a very attractive young man in my bed helps. Especially when I get to kiss him while my beautiful puppy is sucking my cock.”

“I can hear you,” Harry protests from where he sits between Merlin’s legs, indeed working his husband’s cock with his hand and tongue while the other hand is busy tracing a loose pattern around Eggsy’s hole.

“Did I say anything that wasn’t true?” Merlin tries to look past Eggsy but Harry chooses that very moment to suck all of him into his mouth, rendering him speechless.

“You know… I’ve been thinking…,” Eggsy says, licking around Merlin’s nipple. “I think I want you both.”

“You already had us. Twice already today.” 

“Yes, but… not what I meant, was it?”

“Then what do you mean, love?” Harry says around the tip of Merlin’s cock.

“I mean… I want you both. At the same time. Inside of me.”

Everything comes to a bit of a halt then. Harry reappears from between their tangled bodies, looking first at Merlin, then at Eggsy.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. Been wanting that since day one. Well, maybe day three if anyone’s counting. You know what I can take.” Why Eggsy has to actually plead his case he doesn’t know. “And don’t you dare ask me if I’m sure because fuck yes, I am.”

Another beat passes, then Merlin threads his fingers through Eggsy’s hairs, making him look at him. “You’ll take me first. Once you’re nice and settled, the puppy will join us. How does that sound?”

“That sounds very nice.”

Slicked up copiously, Merlin slides easily into Eggsy’s already stretched hole. Harry helps him with the angle, gently caressing his balls until Eggsy has fully sat down on his husband’s cock.

“I’m still asking… are you sure?” Merlin asks.

“Yes,” Eggsy breaths. “Yes, please.”

“Puppy… if you please…”

“Gladly, Daddy.”

As Harry squirts a generous amount of lube onto his prick and gets into position, Merlin pulls Eggsy against him. He reaches down and pulls Eggsy open around him.

When Harry breeches him, Eggsy’s mouth falls open in a wordless plea. He knows the burn of the stretch when he fucks himself on his dildo but this is… so much better.

The first inch has him quivering in Merlin’s arms, the second brings tears to his eyes. 

“You alright?” Merlin asks close to his ear. 

“Think I need to come,” Eggsy babbles.

He does come at the third inch, spilling between his and Merlin’s body.

“More?” Merlin asks redundantly and Eggsy nods.

Harry bottoms out eventually. Eggsy almost doesn’t realize it because he’s positively afloat.

“So full…,” he murmurs brainlessly. “Feel so full…. so good…. both of you…. all inside me… so big.”

“I think he likes it,” Merlin says over his shoulder. “What do you think, Puppy? Are we ready to fuck him?”


	24. Day 24 - Broadchurch - Alec/(Ellie) - masturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 24 - Broadchurch - Alec/(Ellie) - masturbation

It’s been a long time. 

Hardy can’t even remember how long exactly. And he hadn’t really given it much thought until just now. Now that he’s….

The doctors had told him to be careful. That any physical exertion could be dangerous. It had taken him a moment to understand why there had been such an awkward emphasis on the word _any_. Turns out, even the most blatant medical professionals shy away from saying: “You shouldn’t have sex and it’s best if you don’t have a wank either.”

Not that it had been an issue anyway. The workload. Dealing with a murdered child. The lack of sleep. None of which contributed to any form of arousal. Why he had even made the clumsy offer to Becca… Christ, what an idiot he had been.

But now… now the Latimer case is closed (albeit with an unsatisfying outcome). Sandbrook would be reopened with the new evidence. His work is done and the stress, the constant fatigue is crawling into his bones, claiming its toll.

And yet… 

And yet, Hardy feels that old treacherous tingle in the bit of his stomach. The tingle that seeps lower still until he feels his cock fill ever so slowly. 

With an exhausted groan, he turns on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The first proper night off and he’s being kept awake by this?

Despite himself, he slips a hand underneath the blanket and past the loose waistband of his pants. He’s not fully hard yet and for a moment he contemplates reaching for his phone to pull up something that might speed things along. 

It feels wrong for various reasons. Mostly because he thinks now that his ticker is repaired, he should be able to manage a wank without the help of bad porn.

As he wraps his fingers around his shaft, something flashes through his mind instead. It’s equally wrong but it makes his cock twitch with interest. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” he mutters, running his free hand over his face. 

The image stays.

Her.

Why her?

Because they’re practically joined at the hip lately. Because she knows him. She sees him (and to his chagrin she sees through him, too). Because she’s relentless and caring and stubborn and brilliant and obnoxious and... Because she sometimes smiles at him even when things are particularly grim. And when she does it feels…

She _is_ sexy. And she’s completely oblivious to it. Her breast in those silky blouses. That arse in those tarty jeans. And that bloody dimple in her cheek. The way her hair comes loose at the end of the day. The way she sometimes smiles at him even when he’s being a complete knob. And when she does it feels…

He comes over his hand and it’s almost brutal and surprising and fuck he’s missed this.

His fingers twitch to the scar on this chest. The pain is different today. An ache. A yearning.

He knows what to do. 

He needs to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even doing? No one knows. 
> 
> The line with the "tarty jeans" is blatantly stolen from the brilliant [bitboozy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy) and their series [Domesticated](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554) which you all should read if you're interested in the pairing.


	25. Day 25 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - inflation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 25 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - inflation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably not "proper" inflation but... there we are. 
> 
> It's also my homage to all the beautiful fan-creations that celebrate body diversity in this fandom.   
> You have no idea what kind of of a boost all this has given me. So thank you, all of you beautiful people!

“Aziraphale, are you there?”

“Oh no… no, there’s nobody there. We’re closed. Please go away at once.”

There’s a shuffling in the back area, the thumping of books falling to the ground, a low but polite curse.

“What on your lord’s green earth are you doing? I’ve been calling... I’ve been knocking on your door…” Crowley slowly advances into the shop. “Did you finally succumb to the lockdown craze as well?”

“Crowley, please. Stop there. Do not come any closer.”

“What….” That’s what Crowley stops short. That’s when he finally sees Aziraphale sitting on the battered sofa. “What happened?”

“The cakes.”

“What?”

“The cakes happened,” the angel says almost desperately. “I told you I had resorted to baking and I… well, I had to eat them, didn’t I? Would have been a waste not to.”

Crowley’s brow goes up. “But you never put on weight.”

Aziraphale sighs a great big sigh. “I do. Always have. I just never… I miracled it away when the clothes wouldn’t fit any longer.”

Crowley tries not to grin. “So what has changed?”

The angel looks away from him. “I… seems like I forgot. I would have done it if I’d know you were to come over.” His voice gets very small. “Never would have let you see me like this.”

Like this…. Like this is still the same old corporation but… more. Aziraphale has always been - for lack of a better word - soft around the edges but now his belly strains against the buttons of his shirt, the bottom two have already given up the struggle. He’s popped the fly of his trousers and he’s completely given up on the waistcoat.

“I’m…,” Aziraphale’s face twists, “I’m disgusting, I should…” he raises a hand to snap his fingers but Crowley is at his side in an instant. 

“Don’t.”

“What? No, Crowley, I….. please let me…”

“You’re beautiful.”

They stare at each other.

“You think so?” Aziraphale says at last.

“Always have.”

They stare at each other again. Longer this time.

“May I?” 

“Please.”

All too gently, Crowley let’s his fingers trail along the threatened buttons and they pop, one by one, exposing more rosey skin. He brushes Aziraphale’s shirt aside, running now both hands over the globe of his belly. His flesh feels warm and soft and it’s glittering with fine golden lines. It’s like looking into the sun through a cracked vase. 

He’s seen the humans do something like this when someone is pregnant and briefly wonders if they get the same sensation out of it. Namely a ridiculously hard cock.

“Say it again, please,” the angel says, voice hitching a bit. 

“You’re beautiful, Aziraphale. Always have been but… bloody hell, look at you… you’re magnificent...I could…”

“Could… what?”

Crowley licks his lips. “Well…. I’ve heard a rumor that… there’s another way to work off a belly like that… other than a miracle.”

Aziraphale’s face splits into a grin. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“You didn’t just forget, did you?”

“Maybe not completely…”


	26. Day 26 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - stripping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 26 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - stripping

“Mr. Devere… let me show you to your private booth. Your booked dancer will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you, Marcus. Make sure he carries a glass of Macallan, please,” Henry Devere says as he slides into the leather-upholstered booth.

“Gladly, Sir.”

The heavy curtain closes behind the waiter, shutting off all the sounds of the club. Hidden speakers play a subtle tune that reminds Henry of elevator music.

A few minutes pass until the curtain is brushed aside once more and The Boy steps in. True to Henry's request he carries a glass of whisky on a little tray. 

“Your drink, Mr Devere.”

Henry nods politely, picking up the glass. Over the rim of it, he gives the young man who goes by The Boy here a once-over. 

Dark blond hair coiffed neatly, sharp jaw and bright green eyes. They shine even brighter in the strategic lighting. The green of the school boy’s uniform helps, too.

“I believe you have booked me for a little private show?” 

“I have,” Henry says simply.

The Boy pulls a little remote from underneath the table and pushes a few buttons. The music changes to a more driving electronical beat. 

Henry tries not to cringe at the choice of tune. Certainly nothing he would have picked but one doesn’t strip to Brahms.

Effortlessly, The Boy hops onto the table. “I don’t need to tell you there’ll be no touching unless I allow it.”

“Certainly.”

The music picks up in volume and The Boy begins to dance. 

The moment he starts to sway his hips to the beat, Henry is lost. Mesmerized he stares up at the young man, at the way the tight shorts stretch over his arse and thighs as he moves. To be between those thighs… 

The jacket goes first, leaving The Boy in a too tight white shirt. The buttons hang on for dear life as he raises his arms over his head. One by one he pops those buttons, exposing tanned smooth skin. To touch those pert, dusky nipples… 

Henry’s hand drops into his lap. There is no point in trying to hide his arousal so he just squeezes down on his erection to keep it from punching a hole into his trousers. 

“Like what you see then, Sir?” The Boy asks with a cheeky smile. 

“I do,” Henry answers, voice heavy.

The shorts disappear, leaving The Boy in the flimsiest of thongs Henry has ever seen. It leaves little to the imagination. And he is imagining all of it. He swallows hard when The Boy climbs off the table and slides astride his lap, rolling his hips once, twice… then he leans in close.

“I have everything you need.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“I’d be willing to… forego the ‘no touching’ rule… if you want to.”

“I want to,” Henry says weakly. 

The Boy leans even closer. “Take me to your room. And then take me properly.”

In Henry’s earpiece, Merlin lets out a triumphant holler. “Fucking finally.”


	27. Day 27 -  Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - public sex & role reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 27 - Kingsman - Merlin/Harry/Eggsy - public sex & role reversal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my [young and horny lovers, back seat, daddy's car](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1292807) verse

Backstreet is packed. The entire club is vibrating with the beat of the music and the people dancing to it. 

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Merlin has to practically shout into Harry’s ear to have him understand. They’re both standing at the bar, nursing their drinks, while Eggsy is out on the dance floor.

Harry only nods, first in agreement, then down at his crotch. His cock is pressing enthusiastically against his black dress pants.

Merlin’s brow ticks up and he wraps an amused smile around the neck of his bottled beer. Almost absently, he reaches for Harry’s hand and guides it underneath his kilt, letting him feel his own erection. His eyes flicker close for a moment when Harry gives him a slow stroke.

“Backroom?” Merlin asks.

“We haven’t been in ages.”

“I’m not taking this home.” Merlin looks down at their twin hard-ons, then he leans further into Harry, making sure one who hears him. “I want you inside me.”

Harry looks at him for a long moment, then pulls him into a hard kiss.

“Go fetch the boy, puppy. I’ll be waiting over there.”

They split into opposite directions, Harry for the dancefloor and Merlin towards the backroom.

*

They join Merlin where he’s leaning against one of the many pillars in the backroom of the club. 

Eggsy tries not to look at all the people around them in various states of undress and sexual situations. He tries not to listen to all the moans and groans that go directly to his cock.

“Glad you could join me.” Merlin steals a quick kiss from both of them. 

“You want to fuck? Here?” Eggsy all but blurts.

“Yes, and now.” Merlin presses a little satchels of lube into Harry’s hand, pushing himself off the pillar. “Get in front of me, Eggsy.”

Still reeling a bit, Eggsy gets into Merlin’s previous spot, then has the other man prop his hands on either side of him.

“I want you to jerk me off while the puppy fucks me. Can you do that for me?”

Eggsy nods. As Harry bunches Merlin’s kilt up and out of the way, he reaches for the man’s cock. He knows the exact moment when Harry breaches his body because Merlin’s mouth falls open with a low moan. For a moment he even forgets his task but then he tries to match his strokes with Harry’s thrusts.

“Yes, puppy,” Merlin hisses. “Go harder. Faster.”

Harry picks up the pace, hips snapping forward in a quick rhythm.

“Can you get me off, Eggsy? I’m almost there.” Merlin’s voice is heavy and distant.

“Yes, Sir.” Eggsy slides down the pillar. In this position he gets a better angle on Merlin’s cock, and seeing where his lovers’ bodies meet… that’s doing all the good things to him.

Merlin finishes into his hand. Some of his spendings land on Eggsy’s chest, too.

“Pull out, puppy.”

“But I’m so close.”

“I know. And you’ll be again when you fuck Eggsy when we’re home.”


	28. Day 28 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - crossdressing/lingerie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 28 - Kingsman - Harry/Eggsy - crossdressing/lingerie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also part of my "Teachers, Whores & Chambermaids" series.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Eggsy says without preamble as they get ready for bed one night. He has picked up on a strange vibe from Harry for the past couple of weeks but only now has mustered the courage to ask. 

“I wouldn’t know what you mean, love,” Harry skillfully averts the questions. 

“You seem… unhappy.” Eggsy plays with the hem of his pajamas. “It’s not because of us getting engaged is it? You’d tell me if it was that, right?”

“It most certainly is not.” Harry puts his book down. “It’s… something rather ridiculous, I’m afraid.”

“Tell me.”

Harry sighs. “I… you know how very much enjoy our sex life, don’t you?”

Eggsy’s brows go up. “Yeah?”

“I’ve never been… topped like that before. Especially since I can’t give you fully what you need I…”

“You stop right there, Harry, yeah? You give me what I need because I love you and you love me.”

Harry smiles almost apologetically. “Anyhow… There’s been something…. Something I’m rather embarrassed about, really, which is why I never brought it up. But ever since you asked me to marry you I thought it… it would be best to…. admit to it.”

“You’re scaring me a little bit there, Harry.”

“Forgive me, darling. That’s the least of my intentions.”

“Go on then. Say it.”

Harry hesitates. Then he draws in a breath. “I’d like for you to dominate me.”

Eggsy looks at him, almost stares. “You what?”

“Only if you wanted to, of course. I’m not… requesting it. It’s just… I’ve always had… this inkling for it, I suppose. And I… I’d appreciate it if we…”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“We’d have to talk details… rules and stuff, I guess, but… yes.”

Harry’s shoulders sag in relief. “Thank you, darling. I appreciate that.”

Eggsy eyes. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“Yes… yes, there is.”

“Out with it. No secrets, yeah?”

Harry nods. “Excuse me for a moment.” He slips out of bed and into the ensuite. When he returns he’s clad in his dressing gown again, holding it close as if his life depended on it. “There’s… another inkling… something I haven’t indulged in in a while but… I don’t need to if it…. If it’s not your thing but..”

“Harry…”

With his head bowed, Harry pulls the gown open.

“Oh…. oh my word,” Eggsy breaths.

Immediately, Harry closes the gown again. “Like I said, I don’t…”

“Show me again,” Eggsy all but orders.

Again, Harry reveals himself. Himself in a black lace babydoll and matching knickers, the cut making his legs seem like a mile long.

“That’s your big secret?” Eggsy asks. 

“I’m afraid so. I always loved it but… never found anyone who…”

“You’re fucking beautiful.”

Harry stares at Eggsy with glittering eyes. “I am?”

“Would you like it if I showed you just how beautiful?” Eggsy gives him a little wink, hand falling into his lap.

Harry smiles sheepishly, his own cock beginning to strain against the lace. “I would, Sir.”


	29. Day 29 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - telepathic bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 29 - Good Omens - Crowley/Aziraphale - telepathic bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write some praise kink but it somehow turned into this....

_“I wonder if he’ll ever know how beautiful he is to me.”_

Crowley stops dead on his way out, hand on the door handle. “What did you say?” he asks over his shoulder.

“Me? I’ve said nothing,” Aziraphale replies absently, nose deep in one of his books again. “Mind how you go.”

*

_“I knew he wouldn’t let those people get hurt. Not seriously anyway. There’s that kindness in him that’s… oh he’d hate me if he…”_

“Are you talking to yourself now?” Crowley asks irritatedly as they stroll through the park after witnessing a freak accident happening on Oxford Street. It would have been even more freaky if there hadn’t been a little intervention from them. 

“I most certainly am not.” Aziraphale sounds almost hurt by the accusation. 

“But you just said you knew that I…”

“That you what?”

Crowley waves a hand. “Nevermind. Let’s go feed some ducks.”

*

It gets more frequent after that. Whenever he’s within roughly shouting distance of the angel he can hear it. His voice. No, not from his mouth. Oh no. It’s inside his head. Aziraphale's voice is inside his head and he can hear his thoughts clear as day.

For about a week, he thinks he’s completely lost his marbles now but then it dawns on him. 

The body swap. 

Something must have gotten stuck on the way.

And now… and now he can hear Aziraphale’s thoughts. And he has a lot of them. And most of those are about Crowley.

*

_“The way he smiles at me…. It’s… dare I say… it’s divine.”_

Crowley cringes at that.

_“I’m fully aware my jokes are not particularly funny but he laughs at them nonetheless. If I could tell him how….”_

Crowley interrupts him then, makes the angel laugh instead.

_“Oh I wish he knew. I could just tell him but… he probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. Would he laugh? Maybe. And rightly so. It’s ridiculous. Unnatural. What am I thinking? I'm an angel and he’s…”_

Crowley bolts.

*

Crowley tries to stay away after that. He knows he should tell Aziraphale. What if the angel can hear him, too?

No, he would have said. If Crowley’s learned one thing about him now is that the angel puts everything that’s on his mind into words.

Except for that one thing. That he won’t say. Won’t even think it to the end.

*

Crowley gets them drunk one night. To shut up the voice in his head and maybe make the angel talk.

It doesn’t work. So he goes to leave on unsteady legs, unwilling to sober up while he’s still here. 

_“I know you can hear me.”_

Crowley stops dead on his way out, hand on the door handle. 

_“I never finish that thought because it scares me. And I’m afraid it will drive you away.”_

Oh he’s sober now. “I’m still here,” he thinks.

_“Will you give me some time?”_

_“Will you say it out loud, then?”_

Aziraphale smiles and then he speaks. “I’ll think about it.”


	30. Day 30 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - sex toys & deep throating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 30 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - sex toys & deep throating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my verse [the wicked](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906816)

“I’ll be indulgent today and let you pick… would you like to kneel or lay down?” 

Percival pours himself a drink before sitting down in his armchair.

“I prefer to kneel, Herr,” Eggsy says. He almost says kneeling makes this particular exercise easier but he refrains from it. It would be the surefire way to have Percival make him lay down.

“Good boy. Pick a toy now.”

Eggsy walks over to the hidden closet in Percival’s suite. His entire body tingles whenever he looks over all the toys and implements, most of which he’s already made the acquaintance of. His hand falls on a fairly large dildo but behind him, Percival tsks. 

“You know you can go bigger.”

“Yes, Herr.”

So Eggsy picks a double-ended dildo that’s almost as long as his arm.

“That’s a good boy. It’s not proper training if it’s not a challenge, am I right?” 

“Of course, Herr.” Next, Eggsy picks up his pillow - another one of Percival’s indulgences - and places it in front of his master. “May I kneel, Herr?”

“You may. Tell me what we’ll do today.”

Eggsy sinks to his knees, holding out the large black rubber dick as if presenting Percival with the crown jewels. “We’ll continue to train my throat so that I can suck cock properly without choking.”

“Good. You’re already fairly good at it but as with every muscle, we need to train this one to get rid of your gag reflex,” Percival explains matter of factly. “You may start now.”

Eggsy sits back a bit, trying to relax as much as he can. He takes a deep breath before he raises the dildo to his lips. Tentatively, he licks around the tip first before he opens his mouth and starts pushing the toy in. 

He takes the first inches easily. It helps that Percival has him suck him off first thing in the morning. When the dildo hits the back of his throat, he chokes a bit but keeps pushing.

“There you go. That’s what I want to see.” Percival palms his erection through his trousers. “Can you take more?”

Eggsy can, even if it brings tears to his eyes. He breathes hard through his nose and his throat starts to constrict around the dildo.

“Look at you, boy. You’re getting so good,” comes his master’s rare praise. “Just a little more now.”

Eggsy begins to feel a little lightheaded due to the lack of oxygen. He raises a hand - their sign when he can’t talk.

“Only a little more for me, boy.”

Eggsy’s vision starts to blur with more tears and he sways a little.

“Alright, take it out of now. Time to practice on the real thing.”

Eggsy pulls the dildo from his throat, sobbing and heaving as it comes out. Spit and more runs down his chin. “Thank you, Herr.”

“You may thank me when you’ve swallowed my come, boy.” Percival unzips his trousers. “Oh, and don’t forget… the dildo goes up your arse now.”


	31. Day 31 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - overstimulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 31 - Kingsman - Percival/Eggsy - overstimulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my verse [the wicked](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906816)
> 
> This was requested by Mx Anon on Tumblr and I thought it'd be a fitting last chapter

Eggsy is bucking against the restraints as the orgasm rips through him. He’s tied to a sturdy wooden chair, wrists and ankles secured neatly with purple lengths of rope. 

Thick spurts of come land on his stomach, some of his thighs, as Percival strokes him through his climax. His cock is slick in his master’s hand, coated heavily in some subtly scented massage oil.

“Thank you, Herr,” he pants when he’s able to speak again.

“You’re welcome, boy.” Percival wipes his hand on a towel, then rises. From a peg inside his hidden closet, he takes another coil of rope. “I think we should tie you down better before we continue. I feel like you might not enjoy it as much.”

Eggsy wants to ask what’s going to happen but he knows he’ll find out soon enough. So he just hangs his head in a limp nod.

With practiced movements, Percival wraps the rope around Eggsy’s chest and tightens it around the back of the chair. When he’s fastened the knot, he checks to make sure nothing is pinching or chafing. He might be an evil bastard but if anyone is hurting Eggsy it’s he himself and not some rope. 

Then he sits back down again and squirts some more oil into his palm. “How are you feeling, boy?” he asks almost innocently.

“Good, Herr.”

“I can see that. Look how hard you still are for me.” Percival takes Eggsy’s cock in a loose grip. Eggsy draws in a breath. “Always so sensitive after you’ve come. You don’t like it when I touch you like that, do you?” He trails his fingers along Eggsy’s length.

“No, Herr.”

“Shame, really.” With just his fingertip he circles the crown of Eggsy’s cock, stroking him just so. Even this small touch has Eggsy strain against the ropes. “Easy there, boy. Be calm.”

Eggsy tries. He really does. He breathes hard through his nose and his jaw hurts from clenching it so hard.

“That’s better. You know I won’t stop until I have enough of you,” Percival drawls, running the pad of his thumb over Eggsy’s slit. “You can use your safeword of course but until then…” He cradles Eggsy’s ball in his other hand, squeezing down lightly. 

“Please, Herr,” Eggsy moans, trying to shift away from the relentless fingers that keep teasing him.

“You’ll come again, boy. And you’ll be even more sensitive then. And then we’ll still keep going.” Percival leans into him and presses a long kiss to Eggsy’s quivering lips. “Should we milk you dry today?”

Eggsy sobs. The worst part is… Percival is right. He will come again and soon. “Please, Herr… don’t make me…”

“You will, boy. You will come and you will thank me for it. Are we clear?”

Eggsy nods again.

“What was that?”

“Yes, Herr.”

Percival continues to work his fingers over the tip of Eggsy’s cock. He doesn’t stroke him and he doesn’t need to. He finds all the sensitive spots just along the crown and teases them mercilessly.

“Getting close, Herr… gonna…. Please, may I come?”

Percival lets him stew on that for a moment. “Come now.”

Eggsy bucks up as much as he can when the first wave hits him. And Percival’s hands are gone. He pulls them back as Eggsy thrusts into his grip but only finds thin air. 

“Oh fuck…. Please…. Please, Herr…. I need… oh shit…” Eggsy tries to get some sort of friction but there is none. He comes over himself, spilling onto his stomach and thighs but gets no satisfaction whatsoever. 

“What do you need, my boy?”

“Your hands…. Please… need your hands on me.”

Percival’s brows go up in mock surprise. “Oh do you now… just a minute ago you wanted me to stop…” Again, he wraps a slick hand around Eggsy’s shaft, just holding him as he spurt another jet of come. “Is that what you want?”

Eggsy doesn’t reply. He just tries to breath, chest heaving against the ropes. 

“Or this?” Once more, Percival begins to tease Eggsy’s cock with the lightest of touches. He forms a circle with his fingers and lets them slide again and again over Eggsy’s crown.

“Fuuuuck, fuck… too… too much, Herr….. Please, stop.”

“What’s it going to be, Eggsy? Want me to touch you or stop? Make up your mind.”

Tears roll down Eggsy’s cheeks. He draws in a wobbly breath, then fixes his eyes on his master. He doesn’t reply but they know he won’t give up so easily even if his entire body is raw and on fire.

“Thought so. Such a stubborn boy.” Percival continues with his ministrations, going slower this time to draw it out even more. “Maybe you should have nothing but ruined orgasms from now on. Might teach you to be more grateful for the ones I let you have.”

Eggsy doesn’t know how long it takes until he’s nearing his third orgasm. It feels like hours. He’s barely breathing by the time he has to ask for permission, his head is swimming in fuzzy delight and pain.

“Come, my boy,” Percival orders him and this time he strokes Eggsy through it. “Look how much you still have in you…. So much more to give… I’m sure there’s a forth in there...”

Eggsy is a mess of come, sweat and tears as he slumps against his bindings. “Please… please no more… no…” He draws in a sobbing breath. “Rizla.”

Immediately, Persival stops, pulling his hands again. He wipes them quickly on the towel, then cradles Eggsy’s face in his hands. “Look at me, Eggsy.”

Eggsy focuses on him with wet eyes. “I’m sorry, Herr. I couldn’t…”

“You did good, Eggsy. That’s why you have the safeword.” Almost in slow motion, Percival cleans him up and frees him from his restraints. “Try to calm down now. I’ll get you something to drink. You’ll want to be ready for round two.”

“What?”

“Didn’t I tell you? The other agents are waiting to use you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who came by and read and kudo'd and commented on this insanity. I'm writing this on the 27th which means for one in my writing life I'm ahead of time finishing something. You have no idea what great a deal this is to me.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed some of these. Most of them are part of other verses, I hope I didn't forget to put links in there. 
> 
> If you did like them, let me know here or come find me on tumblr @ tastymoves.


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